Saturday, May 03, 2003

*... the beginning of the end ...*
A sense of accomplishment has settled over me as I actually was able to send off a package of winter clothes back home. To understand the signifigance of this, you must realize the impossibilities I conquered: Finding a box bigger than a shoebox, finding suitable tape, getting to the post office, bringing enough money (one never knows)... I finagled a box from school yesterday, and this morning had to RUN to the post office, a 15 minute trip I had to do in 5, including going through the train station. Then my shoe broke (sadly leaving me with only one pair of flip flops now). Of course. But I made it, and I have now symbolically started prepping to come home. The thing is I still don't know when I'll actually get there. JP and my great plans to travel about have been so unfairly postponed indefinitely because of that damn SARS virus. The WHO have 3 months to eradicate it before we want to set out, so they'd better get on it. We can't really make plans until we figure out if there are places we can and/or should go.

As for local travels, my great idea to go down to Tokyo to catch a Giants game was trashed, unfortunately, as my entire crew became tied up in one activity or another. Alan is MIA, Tim is busy, Karin is working, JP has a friend over, Kelly's in Korea... It's a 3-day weekend, and I just might go crazy....
12:51 PM

Friday, May 02, 2003

*... a bone (as in 'to pick' OR 'throw me one') ...*
Excuse me for a second while I rant. I suppose I should add a few things to the job description entry from the other day, mostly along the lines of the darker side of ALT-dom. Not so much evil-kinda-dark as complete-crap-I-have-to-put-up-with-kinda-dark because "it's the Japanese way." I swear, if i hear that phrase one more time, I just might scream. Hands down the hardest part of this job is trying to adapt to the Japanese way, which often comes across to me as a completely unprofessional way to treat someone. Yesterday I was told I was expected to be at the city office at 2pm for a meeting. I was informed of this one hour beforehand, despite the fact my supervisor had known for 3 days and just not told me. So I had to skip lunch and leave immediately so i could make the necessary bus transfers and travels. Today I was sitting at my desk and told, "Okay, Britt-sensei, next period you are making a speech to all the parents..." Uhh, excuse me?? Perhaps I should have been grateful for getting 25 minutes notice, as opposed to 1 or 2 minutes in the past, but what irks me is that this is the third time at this school that I have been told last minute that I need to make a speech, despite the fact that I have asked in as many times to please give me some prior notice. It's not a matter of being inflexible if things suddenly come up (you must understand that one of the tenets of "the Japanese way" is that things never suddenly come up. Things are planned and planned and planned...), but it's the fact that I am constantly left outta the loop, then the string is jerked and I am expected to shine. The other frustrating part is that there is absolutely no empathy. I'm not looking for a shoulder to cry on or a shin to kick (even though there seem to be numerous people begging for it), but if I so much as breathe my frustrations, it becomes a huge problem that is whispered down the alley of supervisors until Ko-Cho sensei (the principal) feels it necessary to loudly showcase "the problem" in front of the entire staff (in Japanese, of course, so EVERYONE can listen in). And he's usually wrong. "Yes, Britt-sensei, you MUST make a speech in Japanese." Yes, I know this... (now). "But you cannot use English." Yes, Ko-Cho, I'm aware. Thank you. "The parents will not be able to understand." Hai, wakatta (yes, I understand this). "It only has to be a short speech." Good lord! I get the point! I KNOW I have to make a speech in Japanese. This was never an issue! All I ask for is a little warning so I can feel like part of the staff, and not some dancing monkey paraded doing parlor tricks because the parents will be sooo impressed that the gaijin speaks Japanese! ((can you believe this was their actual reason for making me give a speech at all, as was told to me by my supervisor: "they'll be so surprised!"))

I take back what I said before. I guess I get embarrassed easier than I thought if only for the fact that I am constantly made to look ignorant in front of the people I work with, and there is seemingly no way to prevent this. So freakin' UNPROFESSIONAL. Can you picture me keeping my big mouth shut and rolling with the punches... for an entire year of this crap? I'm surprised I haven't exploded... but what can I do? "It's the Japanese way."

ps - this was my speech: "Kon'nichiwa. ALT no Bu-ri-tan To-ro-ji to moshimasu. Amerika no Carifornia kara kimashita. Watashi no nihongo wa joozu dewa arimasen. Sorede, speechi wa (ehhto) negai ja nai. Doozo yoroshiku onegaishimasu." Good afternoon, I'm Britt, the ALT. I come from California in America. My Japanese is not good so, (umm) my speech will not be long. Thanks. ((Unfortunately, much to the prediction, the look of shock on many of the faces in the audience justified my little parlor trick))
8:29 PM

Thursday, May 01, 2003

*... send britty right over ...*
It's a good thing for me that I don't get embarrassed too easily. In fact, the only times I can remember being truly embarrassed come down to the unfortunate Ralph's Ice Cream Aisle Incident which managed to edge out the All-Campus Roommate Game Incident. Those were pretty bad and it would take a lot to replace them. More than my rather bungling debut on Japanese television last night. As I was walking around the station area, I was intercepted by a dainty young girl handing out free samples of Dr:Cee's (that's how it was spelled) Aqua Collagen Gel, Foaming Facewash, and Cleansing Gel (there's a difference (?)). She quickly thrust a large stack of the samples into my hands which made me fall deep into pondering the situation: Why so many? Was she just trying to get rid of them? But why did she make a beeline straight to me? And why did she give me so many? Was she thinking "Good lord, this girl is going to need to BATHE in the aqua collagen gel! Sheesh!"? And what exactly is Aqua Collagen Gel? Strange... All this pondering left little brain power for basic senses, such as peripheral vision ("purple vision", circa colorguard days!!) and I proceeded to walk smack into a line of 11 or so people holding a sign. A wooden sign. A LARGE wooden sign. The reason these suit-clad people were standing in a line holding a heavy large wooden sign in the middle of the walkway was because they were being interviewed, LIVE on the local TV news. They were all a bit flustered, not surprisingly silent and gaping. And here I am, completely unaware that I am singly attempting to play Red Rover, which, as anyone knows, is definitely a group game, and not for us renegade individuals armed with Aqua Collagen Gel. I quickly extracted myself from suits and sign and sprinted up the steps into the station, not daring to look behind me in case the TV crew decided I was a more interesting story than the suits.... who knows? This may be the beginning of my desire to become a celebrity in Japan, since, seemingly, they're the ones who get to have all the fun...

5:32 PM

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

*... three cheers ...*
hiphiphooray! Japanese holidays are fun, mostly b/c I didn't have to go to work today.
hiphiphooray! I got 2 very fun things in the mail yesterday from my sees-tah and fam, and 2 very fun emails from my other fam (karate folks). And Ji, he's not so "kowai", really.
hiphiphooray! By the will of cosmic forces, I ran into Itoh-sensei as she was getting off the train and I was wrapping up at the Internet Banana yesterday. Somehow I recognized her face milliseconds before she went behind a wall, and I threw up my hands, which got her attention outside, and she came in and we went for coffee for a coupla hours... which means I was wired till the wee hours, and even when I woke up this morning... Good thing I didn't have to go to work today (see hooray #1) And then TODAY on my way to the Banana, I ran into a hot guy from my gym, also getting off the train. We both kinda stopped for a second and gave the obligatory short "ah-re?" of surprise, then he walked me over to the Banana door. He was commenting on the fact that I was looking way casual (no work!) and I told him the same... tho I was a little disappointed b/c he looks good in his normal suit he rolls around in. Bummer.

2:17 PM

Monday, April 28, 2003

*... damage control ...*
I suddenly feel the need to justify myself for all those who think I have a cake job. Sounds simple enough: get paid to speak English. In many ways, I do have a cake job. I admit it. For example, I don't have to deal with all the other responsibilities that teachers have, especially Japanese teachers, who (sadly) are often responsible for the social upbringing of the kids (let's take a moment to thank the stars above that I am not responsible for that!) However, teaching English is not as simple as you may think, despite the overall cultural enthusiasm for the language. One really hard part is just plain control in the classroom; discipline either being non-existent or in the form of smacking the kid either in the face or upside the head. It's hard to watch that. Another challenge is undoing all the really bad pronunciation that the eigo no senseis, who can't really speak the language themselves, have taught the kids.
For the most part, I have made it my job to police the pronunciation of English. Considering the Japanese only use 18 of the 26 letters we do, with an additional 3 with limited usage (F, W, Y) in their own language, they have absolutely no concept of essential phonetics like "TH". I such a champion of the TH sound, in fact, that I have left a wake of bleeding, sore tongues across Niigata as I encourage the students to bite down on their tongue. If you think about it, how would YOU teach how to make that sound? At least 3 or 4 times a day, I go around checking students' tongues for proper sticking-outtage. My mantra for the importance of this has become "It is better to THink than to Sink", seeing as most of them substitute SSS for TH. Ironically, they are not able to make a "si" sound, like in "sit" because in their language, they only have "shi". Therefore, most of them walk around saying "I live in Niigata Shity" which is funny, but unfortunately reflects the fact I am not doing my job. Rs are as impossible as Ls since they are the same thing in the Japanese language, and therefore they cannot distinguish the difference ("you like to eat llama?? Oh... ramen?"); same goes for B vs. V ("You're going to boat tomorrow? vote? boat?"). Their WHs sound like Fs ('who' becomes 'foo') and bice bersa. And how do you describe the difference between 'read' and 'read'? These poor kids (and teachers, and travel agents, and everyone else trying to learn), English is definitely tough. What kills me the most, however, is the adoption of English into the Japanese language, yet it's not really English anymore. I feel like a fool rearranging the pronunciation of actual English: "ho-toe ko-o-hee, erl-sigh-zu... sankyu."
5:12 PM

Sunday, April 27, 2003

*... go, gaijin, go! ...*
I spent the morning at a local karate tournament, and even got to show off some of my own mad skills. Unfortunately I missed the deadline to actually enter the tournament, so my skills had nothing to do with the actual sport of karate. But it appeared they were a few hands short in the help department, so I made myself available after convincing those in charge that I was capable of being more than a coffee runner. I got the too-familiar position of calling scores, a job that was often bestowed upon me at home. (I would like to think it was for my accuracy, but I think it had more to do with my loud voice...) There were 4 courts and when I jumped up to read out court A's scores, I think all of Japan froze solid. Not only was the crazy foreigner screaming (I like to think of it as projecting my voice), but the crazy foreigner was screaming in a language the stunned Japanese understood! How is that possible?!
It was pretty cool to see a tourney over here, especially the differences in how they run it. The basics are the same (scoring, katas, etc), but the structure is different. For one thing, there were the obligatory speeches from everyone and their mother at the beginning. Definitely one thing I will NOT miss about Japan, all the talking. The other strange thing was that they had people doing kata 2 at a time. This is ironic for me, since about a year ago, I told my sensei (who was determinedly trying to nudge me into competing) that I didn't want to compete because I would rather not have 5 people scrutinizing every move I make. I told him that I would be glad to do team kata, however, because at least there would be 2 other people to take the attention off of me. ((But, as usual, curiousity got the better of me eventually and I did compete a little. But it's the principle of things)). Had they done had a 2-person-at-a-time system at home, then who knows what my excuse would have been. I do wish I could have participated in the tourney today... And THAT is the most surprising part of all. This September marks my third year doing karate, and 3 years is usually my limit; after about the 3rd year of any particular activity (theater, colorguard spring to mind) I usually get bored and turn to something new. But I'm not burned out on karate... (yet)... so it might actually set a record for the longest time I've stuck with any one thing... hmmm...
1:16 PM