Saturday, February 08, 2003

*... beyond the job description ...*
Yesterday the kyoto-sensei (the vice principal) came up to me, and said "britt-san, onegai" and then called Anazawa-sensei, my supervisor, over too. He led us into a little meeting room to have a chat, and my mind started racing. What the heck did I do?? Kyoto-sensei is pretty much the man in charge of the teachers, and I was thinking I was in trouble for something (I don't know what, I am a perfect angel!) like maybe not being in school for practically a week (over the past 2 weeks, I have only been to school 3 out of 10 days). But I was sick, and i had my trip which I got nenkyu (time off) for, so what the heck?? He sat down, looked at me very seriously, and began to speak. I caught most of it except one word he kept using, and Anazawa-sensei asked "Can you understand?" (No, fool, that's why you're there, to interpret!) I told her I didn't understand the word he kept using, and so she told me what he said. Turns out that kocho-sensei (principal) wants to have a meeting with me so I can teach him about sex education. I kid you not. I am supposed to describe sex education pedagogies from elementary through high school in America, then come up with comparisons of Japanese and American pedagogies and what can be improved, what's most effective, etc.

Uhh, NANI?! Um, I'm an ENGLISH teacher, and not exactly "trained" in that. I just teach them what I know about the subject. If I take the same approach to this, then I think I might get deported faster than we thought...!?! Looks like I'm gonna need to do some research, especially since one of my "sources" gave me absolutely nothing to go on, and thus I am not speaking to him anymore. (that was a weak excuse, Poncho!) hehehe : P
2:04 PM

Thursday, February 06, 2003

*... we are the world ...*
Today I spent my time at the International Snow Sculpture Contest part of the matsuri. I guess *I* was under the wrong impression, since I thought it was supposed to be different nations competing (aka, ergo, and hence: "international"), yet there were entries from Portland, Oregon, and one from Hawaii. (This caused a little confusion to the Australian roommate I acquired at the hostel, as she then assumed Hawaii had gained independence or something. I had to forcefully assure her this wasn't the case.) The people sculpting were pretty cool. The Hawaiians were just what I would expect: very tan, very laid back, and armed with chocolate covered macadamia nuts. The Malaysians were a bit less scary than their giant hairy monkey they made, the Swedes were actually napping in the snow (a different breed...?!) and if I had to pick, I would say Korea takes it all. The Americans were building the Liberty Bell, and I hung back and observed them for a while until I got accosted by a group of 15 elementary kids who randomly came up to me to say "Hi, my name is (naninani). Sign, please." and shoved paper and pen at me. Kind of strange. I had just finished that when I looked back up at the bell right as they were starting to place the crack, and I blurted out "Whoa, that's way too high." Apparently they heard, b/c they stopped all of a sudden, looked at me, looked at the bell, stepped back, looked at their picture, and started again, about a foot and a half lower this time. What can I say? I have an eye for these sorts of things.
2 of my favorites had nothing to do with their sculptures. One is the team from Norway, who I got very friendly and cozy with since an entirely different flock of kids (it was Small Kid Day, apparently) were bantering the poor lead-guy with questions in Japanese, and what drew me to them is this guy practically yelling "Do you speak English???" in a rather frustrated and helpless voice. I went over and tried to interpret as best as I could, and was surprised at how much Japanese came tumbling out of my mouth. They either got the answers they were looking for or gave up, but the kids went away, and I talked to the team for a while. The other crew I liked was from Denmark, mostly b/c all they were making were 2 really big Lego blocks, and that amused me since my sis is Miss LegoLand herself. Somehow we got into an argument about whether that same sculpture could exist at LegoLand California. I said yes it could exist (they think it's too hot) and they are quite willing and anxious to go to California to prove me wrong, as long as all their expenses are paid. I told them I would have my people call their people, etc. They kept badgering me about it while also badgering the Portland team to sing some Rolling Stones tunes, and simultaneously launching little Danish flags at small children. As much fun as that was to watch, I had to hightail it back to the hostel (a mere 12 blocks) and stick my toes practically in the heater to regain some feeling.
6:47 PM

Wednesday, February 05, 2003

*... ((insert Alanis tune here)) ...*
So I am waking up frightfully, in soaking sweats... except instead of having nightmares about Hokkaido, I am IN Hokkaido. Life is funny like that... Actually, much to my great delight, Sapporo is quite pleasant. First of all, the people are friendly. Second, the snow is powdery, so it is relatively easy to walk. Plus they have a couple of Mexican food restaurants (most of which seem to be filled with English and Australian peoples right now...) and their fashion reflects a sense of color coordination! Amazing! Despite the mass amounts of foreigners that are here right now for the Snow Fest, I still get the odd looks. I think it's b/c of my hat, but it also could be the fact that I a) talk to myself, b) make comments to the locals as they pass by, or c) laugh out loud as the rather cozy and nice restaurant/cafe I am in currently proudly blasts such tunes as the "Bad Boys" theme from COPS, Snoop, and Belinda Carlisle. Plus there was a nice little "I wanna get freaky with you" interlude.
The hostel that I am staying at is starting to fill up now. In fact, I got 2 roommates today, a young Aussie traveling about Japan for 3 months, and an older Japanese woman who looks scared to death to be sleeping in the same room as the 2 of us. This is good news b/c now I can meet other people, bad news b/c now I can't steal the really big fluffy comforters off the other peoples' beds like I did last night. I really am the Princess who feels that pea.
All in all, Sapporo is pretty nice, and I imagine it is absolutely beautiful in the 4 months or so it's not snowing here. The bummer part about this trip is that my entire crew from LA, the people I flew over with (minus one guy who went AWOL the minute he met the rest of us. Well hmph!) are coming to the Snow Fest tomorrow too. I would LOVE to meet up with JP, Tim, Karin, and Bianca once again, but our planes will literally pass each other in the air over Chitose Airport. Sad. Sad. Sad.

ps to Kristy - forget everything I said before, the boys in Sapporo are DEFINITELY the way to go. Actually, they might just be visiting for the Festival. But that doesn't matter, it just gives you a window of opportunity, right?
7:06 PM

Tuesday, February 04, 2003

*... talk about let it snow! ...*
So, here I am on this big "I'm going to die" trek that I alluded to earlier. I am in Sapporo, Hokkaido, which is the absolute snowiest place in Japan (even more than Snow Country!) You don't understand, in the one terrifying week between when I found out I was going to Japan and when I found out WHERE I was going, I would actually wake up from horrific, sweaty nightmares that I would be stationed in Northern Hokkaido, in some remote village with only the warmth of a candle or maybe the company of a cow. But, alas, I didn't... and I came anyway. The absolute CRAP part is that I am quite ill, and once again flyin' solo, both factors that bring down the enthusiasm level I have here. I was actually not going to come b/c I felt so ick, but Kelly pretty much forced me to, and besides, I couldn't refund my air ticket. The good news is that the fever I am running seems to counteract the blustery cold... although I am not sure that is the right prescription for that sort of thing... (doctors?)
Why, O Why am I in Sapporo? Well, it's all about the Sapporo Snow Festival, which I got to sneak a glimpse of today. It is AMAZING what they can do with snow, you all will have to see the pics when I get back. They build castles and stages and sculptures (2 personal favorites were ET and DomoKun and gang (that one's for Daniel!)) and at night it is all lit up most spectacularly. I have 2 more days here, so we'll see what other trouble I can get in to, but for now it seems like it's mostly sleep. I did, however, meet 2 Russian ice sculptors in the Niigata Airport who are being brought in to demonstrate their work. One wanted to sketch me, all model-like, but I reasoned with him that no one would figure out what it was, since the big oversized coat and pom-pom beanie might throw off the perspective of the common eye. I think he's going to make something else ; )
One other crazy thing about Sapporo is that the snow level towers over my head in some spots. On rather lower levels you can see peoples' bike handles or car antennaes sticking out randomly in the snow. In Niigata they shovel the snow, in Sapporo they burn it. And it STILL doesn't go away. Yikes! Glad I am just visiting, even if I don't see much more than the inside of my eyelids during precious precious sleep... goodnight!
6:53 PM

Monday, February 03, 2003

*... a perverse hobby ...*
Some of you know about this little perverse hobby of mine, but I am absolutely enraptured by television evangelist shows. Not the ones where they are "curing" people or whatnot, but the ones where the bishop/pastor/reverend preach straight (and simulateously outlandish) gospel. My fascination of this is mostly fueled by me just sitting there and laughing at the guy and saying "are you kidding me? People actually *buy* this?" And for those of you who might be gettin' their panties in a knot, know that this has nothing to do with the faith or religion, it's just the theatrics that give me a kick.

Well, lucky for me, I happen to have a video of 2 of these preachers in my apartment (I don't know why), and since I am on-my-back sick, and have exhausted all my other video choices, I popped these in. I was laughing SO hard at this one guy who wasn't even trying to be funny. Please, let me share the words and wisdom (his theme is that you are dead in God's eyes b/c Jesus was crucified as a representative of us):

* "Don't be feelin' like you gotta wear a shirt and tie... all we ask is that you be clean and don't be smellin' bad. You know, be smellin' half-way dencent so you're not offensive."
* "You're dead. You're DEAD. ((approaches an audience member)) You dead? ((lightly slaps audience member)) Well then that didn't hurt, did it?"
* " I ain't never seen no drug pushers hangin' out at the cemetary."
* "How can dead folk be lonely? Dead folk don't need cold showers!"
* "That's why I have maintained my integrity as a minister, why I haven't 'soiled the cloth' as they say. I have the same bodily functions, the same attractions, the same cravings that everybody else has... I am very much alive, ask my wife!"
* "...and Satan had some kind of spiritual satellite system, apparently..."
* "And you stupid dumb women don't know when you go out with a man, and you single, and he's sinlge, and he's not a child of God and there's not 50 other couples around, he's gonna put his hand in your pants. And if he don't, well something wrong with him!"
* "And if you don't believe it, get in a position with him, strip all your clothes off right away, get nekkid, say "here it is man, come and get it" and watch him say "Ah, tut tut tut, never never, no thank you, no."

Let's hope laughter is the best medicine, or I will be out $500 bucks (more on that later).
12:05 PM

Sunday, February 02, 2003

*... in tune with nature ...*
Brace yourself: I like the snow. Well, today I do, at least. I'm not saying I want to establish a winter home here in "Snow Country" (Niigata's nickname, ironically enough), but today I could look upon the snow as one may look upon an obedient pet, and say with affection "good snow." I think there are a couple of things factoring into that rather bold statement. For one thing, it is incredibly sunny today and rather warm (only a tshirt and sweatshirt!), and this makes the snow quite slushy. Slushy snow means that I can walk along in a cheerful gait, and not have to worry about slipping on the ice and breaking one or more bones in my body. The best part is the sound. Powedered snow has no sound when it falls, and makes an interesting crunch when you step on it. Ice sends an entirely different crunch all around, and slushy snow has a sound sort of like sandpaper on plastic, which reverberates down the narrow streets as you shuffle along. It is also gives the best warnings when it is about to slide off the slanted roofs and if you are keen enough to catch the sound, you can avoid being drowned in a rather satisfying "SHLOP!" of snow landing all around you.

The sun has caused most of the snow around to become slush, and every so often it even yields to actual sidewalk. Unfortunately, this is only true for where the sun hits, and tis the nature of Japanese construction to be tall and cramped and not allow sun on many streets. Inevitably, my apartment resides on one of these streets, so it is quite the icy hazard just to get out of my apartment, since Japanese construction also inexplicably insists on putting slopes in random places, like in front of my entryway. This lack of sun also explains why my apartment is always cold and why I can't grow even a Marvin-like plant. But, as long as I get on the right side of the street whenever I need to go anywhere ("hi, my name is Jay. JayWalker."), and as long it isn't blowing up my nose or in my eye or in any other orifice, I don't actually mind the snow. (And we'll see how this attitude changes in a week...)
2:26 PM