Saturday, August 31, 2002

*... DADDY WAS A STREET CORNER ...*
And although that reference has nothing at all to do with the fact that the most fabulous sucka foo there ever is/was, Mr. Antonio Quezada, better known to some of you as Tony el Tigre, called me today! The foo couldn't sleep (does he ever? before 4am, I mean?) and so he called me at HIS 2 in the morning and we talked and laughed and argued... all par for course. And he got to share in my joy of the very Engrish shirt I bought, which blatantly states "Daddy was a street corner." It then goes on to talk about feathered words and a dead mother. Very strange, but very funny!!

So tonight Niigata is a bumpin' place because Japan's very own version of *Nsync/Backstreet Boys/O-town, etc is playing at the big swan. Except THESE guys have their own TV show, cartoon, and soft drink. They're called Smap! and I have no idea what they sound like, look like, or taste like (the drink, I mean) I do know, however, that Niigata station had about 50,000 teenage girls surrounding it this afternoon. A scary throng of hormones, if you ask me.

I've pretty much determined that I am going to try something new everyday. Hence the FABULOUS discovery of the elixir "Gokuri". So yesterday, after the brand-new-and-not-to-be-tried-again-anytime-soon reflexology debacle, I quite accidentally had horse intestine. Now, we didn't know it was horse intestine when we ordered it; in fact the woman who ordered it is a vegetarian. But somehow we ended up with it (at an Italian restaurant, nonetheless) so I seized the opportunity. Tastes a bit like calamari. But more tomato-y... then again, that could have been the sauce. I've had some interesting fish-y type things, and other interesting looking food, but mostly I seem to be most brave with drinks: so far I've tried Winnie the Pooh drink, Love's Body tea, Water Salad, Aquarius, Melon soda (by Laura's insistence, so there you go. But I don't know that I'll be sending you that anytime soon...) and I haven't quite been brave enough to try Pocari Sweat. Seems just a little too suspicious.

I'm off to raid Yamaya, to see if I can find some cheddar cheese. A rare commodity this side o' the world. Mata ne!
7:59 PM
*... 'not happy is would be wife die' ...*
Oh man, I should NOT have left the apartment today. I'm just not in the mood to put up with people staring. It's not like I'm terribly risque or anything (I decided to leave the bikini at home today, although the weather certainly would justify it). And normally I will walk down the street with a "konnichiwa" on my smiling lips. But today I was just not in the mood, and I noticed more than ever people (men AND women) obsessed with the sideways, or most of the time straight-forward gaping glances at my chest. Now stateside I can usually call people out on it with a glare. But here a glare would go nowhere since they're definitely not looking at my face. So I have decided I will just make a t-shirt that says something along the lines of: "I see you staring are a donkey's ass." I figure they might understand that Engrish. And for good measure, add the wife comment, in case they're married.

On a different note, I had quite the adventure yesterday. I met up with Tiffany and a few other teachers to go to her friend Mr Soo who does reflexology, and subsequently is learning spanish too. (okay?) Being that I'm always up for trying new things, I subjected my feet to the absolute worst torture I have experienced thus far. Susan didn't even flinch, and she went first, so I said "no prob", I'll go next. GOOD LORD. When he pulled out what we later called "The Claw", I was at first just sucking it up. But eventually I started yelling out in pain as he dug this red plastic hook into the botto‚� of my feet. Susan and Soo san insisted that I must have bad kidneys since that is where I was screaming the most, but I reasoned with them that if you jab sharpened plastic into ANY part of your skin, it's gonna sting a little, regardless of what area on the body it's supposed to represent. At least Tiffany screamed a lot more than I did.

Tiffany is great, but I have found is not the greatest source for my inquiries into Japanese culture, such as "why is it that women never dine alone publically, but men do?" and "why the fat aren't there any trash bins around?" At least she's honest and gives me the option of having her make something up, or just saying "I don't know." I appreciate that. She and the other teachers just about fell off their chairs yesterday when they found out that I had biked from Yoneyama (my neighborhood) to Aoyama and back... the equivalent, we figured, of me biking from PB to Chula Vista. Oh dang. Coupled with the little ride I had the day before, we figured that in the past 2 days I have biked the equivalent of from Escondido to the border and back.

and today I rest.
2:58 PM

Friday, August 30, 2002

*... YAY for YUKI ...*
Yukiko is one of the bravest souls I know, as she put fear behind her and confronted a big, scary man to make fun of him for me, long-distance-wise. Okay, he's really not that scary, but apparently I'm the only one who thinks that.

For this, I highly commend Yukiko for her bravery and willingness to be beat up or subject to severe punishment, like 10,000 push-ups, because she asked Poncho if he was 35. Hehehehe, man, that's the best. It makes me giggle halfway around the world.
3:49 PM
*... head West, young (wo)man ...*
So, being the beach-lovin SoCal girl that I am, I decided that I was going to go to the beach. So I grabbed a map of Niigata, found the main road to take, hopped on the hoopty bike and headed West. 1 1/2 hours later of biking later, I crossed another river (what?? There's only one river that I was supposed to go over!) and still no great pond in sight. So, after almost hitting some old lady, I politely asked "sumimasen, koko wa doko desu ka??" and appropriately pointed at the ground and then desparately jabbed at the map. She turned it over and over and scratched her chin and muttered "ehhhh-toooooo" and then gave the map back to me with the ominous Japanese symbol for bad: crossed arms in an X while saying "dame." (that's dah-may). Apparently I had biked right off the map. Which was confusing, because according to my finely tuned internal compass, I was heading west the whole time, and the map ended at the Sea of Japan. So I should have ended there. But I was apparently turned somewhere along the way to head SOUTHwest and not straight-up west. RARR.

That's strike 3 for these Japanese maps. NO MORE!!

The only saving factor was that most of the way home was downhill (geographically) and I stopped off at Hakusan Park and took some very tourist-y pictures, then preceded to freak out some of the natives as I rode the hoopty down 3 flights of stairs. Crazy gaijin! On a hoopty! WATCH OUT! I still need to get the hang of this whole 'oncoming traffic is on the LEFT side of the road' concept. I've almost come to a couple of head-on collisions b\c I always defer to the right. But I still haven't run over anyone yet. That old lady was trying to break that record.

One thing's for certain: if I keep going on these marathon bike rides, I definitely need some WAY more comfortable underwear.
PS- the Internet Banana has just been infiltrated by some stewardess looking people handing out wet-naps. Everyone seems REALLY excited about this.
3:44 PM

Thursday, August 29, 2002

*... kaching, kaching ...*
The little sound of the cash register has been ringing in my ears all day. Oh dang did I spend sooo much money today. Considering I don't get paid for another month, I should probably cool it. But they were all necessary items. I went to a store called UniQlo and started stocking up on fall/winter clothes. Got a jacket, a vest (not a down one, sorry daddy-o), a sweater, and 2 shirts. UniQlo is like Old Navy with half the selection and all the sizes are about 1/3. Oh well!
Then I went to a place called Musashi, which is this brand new shopping center. It took me FOREVER to find it, b/c apparently no one in Japan knows how to make correct maps (not that it matters, b/c none of the streets are labeled with names anyway) but I took a wrong turn and ended up at The Big Swan. Altho that may sound quite daunting, it's actually the sports stadium in Niigata, and just recently hosted one of the World Cup games. But that stadium itself is about 10 miles from my house. So I went back to my house, where Tiffany ever-so-pyschic-ly called me, and I got the correct directions to the shopping center, which, of course, was about 15 miles from my apt. So once I got there, I did a LOT of walking around to give my poor butt cheeks a rest from the bumpy ride over. I don't know how the locals do it; their asses must be much smaller than mine. But I try not to think about that.

There was this HUGE arts and crafts store in the center. I dont know about you, but I can spend hours upon hours in craft stores. It just fascinates me, and my mind starts racing warp factor 8 with all the things I could do and make. Plus, I was extra-specially content because they were playing one of my all-time favorite songs, Jackson 5 "I Want You Back." I swear, if any guy ever sang that to me, I don't care what he did, I would probably take him back. Not that I should necessarily advertise that, but it may be handy info to post for the future : )

But then they started playing Backstreet Boys, and I high-tailed it out of there.

I hit the petstore next, and was co'chillin with the ferrets (man, I love those little things) and the roosters, who would NOT shut up. All the dogs in there weighed no more than 6 pounds, I think. Maybe it's the convenience of putting it in your bike basket. Ah yes, I too have a granny bike, with just one speed and a charming little basket on front. And a way uncomfortable seat. Ouch.

Tomorrow Tiffany and I are going to hang out with a friend of her's who's a reflexologist. He apparently also speaks Mandarin, Russian, French, English, and has a chemistry doctorate. What he's doing fiddling with people's feet is a mystery to me. Perhaps I will ask him...

By the way, it was great talking to some of you. I would have loved to talk to more of you, but sensei hung up on me with an "okaygoodbye". WHAT'S UP WITH THAT??

And for your entertainment, here are the most recent "Engrish" entries I could find. I was shopping and kept coming across these, mostly on t-shirts:
* "gnu - rush wild beast. timid creature. feeling be a gentle animal."
* "an APPLE is very famous, and very refreshing, and seems to be a sour cute girl a little."
* "She in the most Useful Girl here. It is mean just Like a Nut."
* "Look at the elephant. Look at the Thunk! Look how round his happy is beautiful."
OH MAN, I was laughing SO hard at these, tears were rolling down my face. Being in the society that I am, and trying not to stand out THAT much more (which apparently is impossible, according to Edward, as I am, how you say, "gifted"?). To calm your fears, I stifled my laughter (which is a feat in itself!), hence where the tears came from. Way too much for one person to handle.
I'm off to wander back home, but I don't know if my legs can take it. Or my bottom, really. Owie owie owie.

4:59 PM

Wednesday, August 28, 2002

*... YAY! ...*

EDWARD TEEPLE IS THE COOLEST!

and why, you may ask, does he deem such high praise? Well, b/c he is so incredibly handy, and observant and resourceful and HE CALLED ME. First, he saw my entry on the Ryuei Ryu website and checked out my site. Then, taking the cue from the right column that says I will miss after midnight calls, he called me... at 2 in the morning. By the time I realized that the answering machine, and not my sleep, was talking, he was gone. But that was just the happiest, it made my night AND day!

Thanks ED!
6:32 PM

Tuesday, August 27, 2002

*... I`ve fallen in love ...*
I know it sounds sudden, but when it`s right, it`s right. And I just know it. I just am filled with so much delight, I can`t even explaing how refreshing it is!

...

In case you`re wondering where this sudden outpour of love is directed, it`s to this fabulous drink called "Gokuri" which is, essentially, canned grapefruit juice. I don`t know where my affection for grapefruits came from; up until about a year ago I wouldn`t touch them with a ichi-man (1000) foot pole. But one day, my body said "I NEED." and I gave (I@m very subservient when it demands) and I`ve been hooked since. And with these WAY humid days, for some reason, Gokuri hits the spot. PLUS it was on sale tonight during 97 yen Tuesdays at a local grocery, so I stocked up.

Now this is a FABULOUS concept. One night a week mark a bunch o` items to about a dollar. Way cool.

However, I am morally opposed to the over abundance of Hello Kitty items in the grocery stores here. Snoopy and gang comes in a close second, but I think I saw the big tie-breaker tonigh. I`ve gotten used to the fact that they slap Hello Kitty`s face on everything from yogurt to cereal to spaghetti sauce. But what i saw today turned my stomach: little hello kitties PRINTED on sausage. Not on the packaging, but on the sausage itself. AND it got darker as it cooked, kinda like a way to give the Kitty a tan.

UGH.

And just to let you know I still have some affinity for the character, I`m currently employing the Kitty in the form of clothes detergent. And I have Snoopy frosted flakes cereal. I have to assimilate to the culture, right??

Right now it`s 10:43pm and I`m in a different place than where I normally check my email. Normally I use the waiting room at Niigata Station, a place called "Internet Banana" (not to be confused with "Shoe Banana" or "Tokyo Banana"... why they like bananas, I don`t know, but we think it`s because it`s easy to spell). There, the Internet Nazis limit me to 20 or 30 minutes (they don`t usually say which) and little things flash up on your screen when time`s up. If you don`t hop up right then, they come kick you off. Sad. Plus it`s hard to type b/c the keyboard is literally shoulder height. Which doesn`t make sense, since many Japanese are quite shorter than I. Plus you can only use it once a day.
Right now I`m in a 24-hour/day-and-night comic and internet cafe. It says 24-hour, but I think it closes at 3 or 6. Either way, it has hours posted on the door. So maybe they just liked the sound of 24-hour. The man next to me must have about 13 cigarettes he has smoked in a 5 minute time frame, and I`m about to die any second simply from lack of oxygen in the room. Plus, this place isn`t free... unless I sneak out the back. But, it`s pretty close to my house, and I don`t have to go over the tracks.

The fact that this is a comic book store, internet place and a coffee shop is kind of a normal standard American-wise. But we`ve got some way funky couplings going on over here, like the cafe + hair salon + taxes place, or the cafe + clothing shop + bicycle tires place. It seems there`s coffee everywhere. It`s 10 times easier to find a vending machine with 7 different kinds of iced coffee than it is to find one with a bottle of water. I figured out that`s why the Japanese are deemed as so productive... they don`t sleep b/c they`re way too hyped up on caffeine!

My phone bill is gonna come, and if I don`t die from this "supa supa" (japanese term for someone sucking down a lot of smoke) then I will die from a heart attack at the bill amount. But it will be worth it. I got to talk to Darius earler, it was good to hear a friendly voice, just like old times in our lovely home. It`s so weird not to be talking to him everyday... okay, like every 5 minutes. After, I called another JET who I met on the planeride over. His name`s JP, he`s over in Ibaraki, on the Pacific Coast, about an hour N of Tokyo. We both vented a little and made plans to get together this weekend, tho we`re not quite sure how that`s going to work. Either way, it was good to be able to share in some of the good and the bad about the last week with someone who`s in the same boat.

Gonna go, I think one lung has shut down. Mata ne!
10:57 PM
*... jabber jabber ...*
By the way, everything talks here. Note, not everyONE, but everything. The phones, the ticket givers, the buses, McDonalds. They all jabber away in this high-pitched voice soliciting for who knows what. Kind of unnerving if you:re just walking by and you:re not really sure who, or what, is addressing you...
1:02 PM
*... RARR! ...*
I`m kinda irked right now since my little black book with everyone`s addresses, numbers, etc is quite gone. I think I left it in a phone booth when I was trying to call one of you fools (who DIDN`T answer their phone... what`s with you people?? Don`t you know it`s me trying to call you? Ah, you HATE me!). Please be so kind as to email me your info again!

I went to my first school today to get briefed and take a tour, etc. It`s not too far from me, especially by bike. Speaking of which, after one half day on that piece o` crap, I had to get another one. I just couldn`t stand it. So I went to a discount dept. store called Daiei and picked up a new bike, for 8,429 ��. As soon as I hopped on, i found it was well worth it, as a) people weren`t staring b/c I was making so much noise rattling down the street, and b) I could once again feel my ass, as it was painfully numbed from the virtual metal I was bouncing along on before.

My first day of school is Sept 2nd, but I won`t start teaching until after "Sports Day", a big competition where all the kids do different activities and try to out-do each other. Interesting. That:s on Sept 8th. Until then, I need to be meeting more people so I can take advantage of "Keyaki-dori", a kind of restaurant row about a block from my apt. And sensei, you`ll be excited to know that they have a Spanish restaurant there. It`s not Mexican, but it`s a start. Regardless, I`ll be looking for that care package of Mexican food you`re sending....

Oh, by the way, I wrote down the wrong phone number earlier. It`s correct now. SO CA-CA-CA-CAAAALLLLL MEEEEEE!
12:56 PM

Monday, August 26, 2002

*... why, EVERYDAY is trash day! ...*
So after cleaning my apartment all weekend, I yielded quite a bit of garbage. However, in Japan, you can`t just throw out your garbage. You have to separate it into "burnable (paper, food, etc)", "plastics", and "metal and glass". Plus there`s tons of stipulations on these, including certain things like batteries, nail polish, that are only collected once a month. Once you have separated your trash, you must place it in a certain designated neighborhood area, by 8 am.�@A great way to meet the neighbors! PS to Tony - there are surprisingly very few trash cans around in public, so my wishing opportunities are GREATLY reduced! : (

After trash was in its proper place, I set about putting the water suckers around the apt (fabulous little things that literally suck the water out of the humid humid air and attempt to prevent your place from getting musty. I think someone skipped 2 or 3 years in my place, but I`m trying to catch up). and was picked up by Tiffany, my little guardian angel to open a bank account (a 1 hour experience because one piece of paper said *brittan trozzi* and the other said *trozzi brittan* and the other had my name in katakana. Apparently quite confusing??) and then she stuck around my apt. to talk to the gas guy since on Friday night my hot water decided not to work, and I`ve been taking FREEZING showers and then pouring hot water from the tea kettle on myself after to get my body temp back above 80 degrees. I`m a resourceful, handy, foreign-city trekking beast! Whee!

Speaking of which, despite my first attempt to speak Japanese with one of the natives (to get directions), I`ve been able to get around really well. I got my bike tires fixed, bought food, met the neighbors, and bought stamps ($23 worth! dang! some of you should be expecting something soon to reflect the fruits of that purchase... keep an eye out...). Despite the now fixed tires on the bike, it`s absolutely the most delapidated worthless piece of tin and rubber I`ve ever laid eyes on. Coupled with the fact that there are a buttload of people on the roads/streets, sidewalks, most of them driving like bats out of hell, and add to it that despite the rumor, it`s NOT just like riding a bike (I was so wobbly, haven`t hopped on one in quite a few years) my guess is that I`m going to have to revert back to the heel-toe express pretty dang soon, since I will probably get in and/or cause a serious accident soon. I think y`all should start a pool to guess when that will happen; just give me some of the profits so I can cover the medical bills...

Other than that, I`m finding quite delight in the "Engrish" I find around; valiant attempts to be inspirational in English, but without the proper structure, words, or context. One of my personal favorites so far was found on a bathroom scale covered with rainbow hearts, and said: "SWEET LOVERS - It`s just fit with my private time! Let`s be slightly extravagant."

RIGHT.

Gotta run, but a few personal messages*
Cyn - answer your phone!
Mishi, carrie - send your address!
Darius - he`s WHAT?!
Yukiko - did you do it??
Liz - I`m still looking for the perfect card
Meredyth - the displays over here are FABULOUS, I`m inspired
Tami - it`s not so bad, b/c at least they are discreet. The foreigners around, however, are not as much. But it ain`t NOTHING compared to what I get in downtown San Diego!!
6:22 PM

Sunday, August 25, 2002

*... home sweet home... ? ...*
I am here and safe (barely... more on that later) and have a brand new shoebox to call home! I am VERY limited on time but I have so much to tell you all, so I will do my best to sum up:

+ first of all, these keyboards are jenky, so excuse any gross spelling errors in advance.
+ I was met at the station by Mr. Ito, staff accountant, and Tiffany, a canadian who has been working here for about 6 years, privately. They whisked me around and tried to get me killed twice, all the while saying "please stay more than a year!" Interesting, maybe they scared off everyone else by getting closer to maiming them on day 1.
+ My fridge is NOT in my bathroom, thankfully, but the joy kinda stops there. The person living there before me left in a rush, and the place was a DISASTER, so I spent yesterday all day cleaning. It`s small but liveable, and came equipped with TV, VCR, washer (no dryer... apparently NO ONE has those here), phone, microwave, toaster, plenty of dressers, teaching materials, and a bike, which I just found this morning, and has 2 flat tires. sad.
+ I am sleeping on the FLOOR. A futon US style is not a futon Japan style. Mornings are a stiff time....
+ The good news is that there`s this perpetual letter passed from occupant to occupant of this apt, and gives you all sorts of tips (like where to check your email!)
+ I`m still living out of my backpack, no suitcases yet. Apparently (according to Tiffany) my first suitcase is covered with gum, so access might be difficult... whee! the adventure continues!
+ Last night I met up with about 40 other ALTs (asst. lang. teachers) from around the Niigata Prefecture and we went out to the Niigata Beer Garden. The directions I received to get there in the first place that I wandered around for about 1.5 hours before finding some nice Irish guys headed in the same direction. I tried asking for directions in Japanese, but the lady freaked and ran. Literally.
The place we went was all you can eat and drink for 2 hours for 2,500�� (about $25). They had tons of raw food on sticks and plates, and these communal burners/fires in the middle of the tables. I`m quite surprised I didn`t get food poisoning from undercooking, but it was good times, and mostly stuck around Tom from London and Gilmar from Brazil, who was a MASTER at the BBQ.

+ other than that, I`m shopping a bit. Tomorrow I get to get my alien card (ahh!) and set up the bank account, plus hopefully get a buttload of stamps so I can write to you! Drop me a line (or give me a call, I listed the number on the right!) and let me know what`s up with you all.

PS - a BIG

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to PONCHO, KATY, and DANIEL!!

1:39 PM